A Diary

61

By lovelydog

Sitting in the library and painstakingly going through the notorious HONGBAO, confronted with one exotic word after another, I was suddenly seized by a spasm of anxiety, or even fear. What if those bizarre words elude me? What if I make mistakes in the exam? What if I fail? The October 25th is still ahead of me and there is chance that I exert all my efforts to gain a satisfying result, what about the past Analytic Writing? I have kept telling myself I was doing well, but what if it turns out to be a failure?

All these strange thoughts came to me in such a sudden that I was some sort of overwhelmed. It seems that some one has wrote such words: anxiety is spasm of the emotion; something gets hold of one and won't let it go. It's useless that one tries to argue, to reason with it, in fact, the harder the attempts, the more futile the result. The only solution is to insinuate something, something that he/she really appreciates, into the frenetic grasp of the motion. With such extravagant solution, evidently and unfortunately, impractical with regard to the time and energy involved, I decided to dig still deeper into the preparation for GRE. The heteropathy did work, paranoia, even though it didn't retreat, stopped marching forward. Reading
comprehension, however, remains an ache in my neck. I have been expecting reading comprehension to compensate analogy and antonym, with which I am, to large extent, disappointed.

The whole day became predictably tough. When I finally succeeded in living up to the closing of the library, the only thing that haunted me was go and enjoy a movie, the more meaningless and jejune, the better, getting myself relaxed. All through the dinner, I was vacillating between the study room and the theater. Finally, making compromise and promising one half of me
that craves for some recreation ice cream and the a movie tomorrow, the other half won the competition and, reluctantly, I seated myself in the chair of the study room.

Now, being entirely exhausted, I have reason to expect sound sleep and the ice cream tomorrow. There is still one thing that I want to say, that is, the reemphasis of "To err is not necessarily wrong, to fantasy definitely blunders".


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